Therapy provides a person with the opportunity to learn more about themselves. The goal is to provide you with ideas about how you can improve your relationships. A therapist can’t make your partner or your children change but we can help you make changes to enhance the quality of your relationships and your life. Often people believe that a therapist is going to give them advice or tell them what to do. In fact, a good therapist is going to help you discover who you are.

How your therapist helps you gain insight will depend on how they conceptualize your situation. A therapist might seek to understand you via your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, beliefs, relationships, interactions, and/or your past, present or view of the future... It really varies. Your therapist may use traditional psychotherapy techniques such as dream interpretation or association to help you discover what is locked in your unconscious. He or she might use a cognitive-behavioral approach and explore the way in which your thoughts impact your behaviors and attitudes. Or, your therapist may view you as part of a system and explore how the bigger picture (the situation you are in with your family, friends, or workmates) impacts your life and may seek to understand how patterns of behavior, choices, etc. play out in a family.

Your therapist might also incorporate art, music, play, or drama into your treatment. In order for therapy to be productive and successful it is important to have a positive working relationship with your therapist. Your therapist should be someone that you trust and to whom you can talk openly. Additionally your therapist should be able to provide you with some insight into your life and experiences and allow you to view things in a new and different way. A key fact from http://www.healthatoz.com (Who Can I Talk To, April 2004) is, 'If at any time you feel uncomfortable with your therapist or wish to try another approach, feel free to talk to other therapists and even change therapists. Feeling comfortable with the professional you choose is very important to the success of your treatment'.

Going to therapy can be a big step and if one has friends or family to talk to, seeking professional help may seem unnecessary. One reason to talk to a therapist is that it is confidential*. What you tell your therapist is not going to be discussed between your friends at school or at the gym, the mothers in your play group, your coworkers, or by your family over holiday dinners. The conversations between you and your therapist are private.

Additionally your therapist will use an open, nonjudgmental approach to helping you find resolution to your concerns. They will not give you advice or tell you what to do, instead they will help you understand your choices and explore your strengths, successes, and goals to help you come to decisions.

Aside from having a safe and private place to talk, there are other reasons one might seek professional therapy. FEI Behavioral Health recommends therapy if you are experiencing:

• Unmanageable anxiety or fear
• Uncontrollable emotions
• Feelings of hopelessness, sadness, or depression
• Increased or ongoing stress
• Difficulty coping
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Rage or excessive anger
• Difficulty getting along with others
• Conflicts in marriage, family, work or school
• Low self-esteem
• Reliance on alcohol or drugs
• Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
• Chronic physical problems where no organic or medical cause can be found
• Any symptom or problem that feels out of your control and is creating problems for you.

For additional insight, see http://www.4therapy.com and choose 'About Therapy' and scroll down to choose 'When To Seek Therapy'.

* Confidentiality may be breached when a therapist has a reasonable belief that a client is a danger to her/himself or others or if there is a child or elder [person over 65] in danger. These incidences are mandated reports. The therapist will use her clinical judgment to determine the best and legal course of action is required to ensure the safety of those involved.

'MFT' stands for Marriage & Family Therapist. An MFT is licensed by the state in which they practice. In California, the title MFT indicates a Masters degree and 3000 hours of supervised clinical experience. The title used to be Marriage, Family, and Child Counselor (MFCC) but it was updated to MFT a few years ago. Because “Counselor” is more recognizable term to many people, is is being used more and more by therapists.

The journey to becoming a licensed therapist is a long one that involves earning a Masters-level degree in psychology and gaining 3000 hours of experience as an intern under the supervision of a licensed MFT in addition to completing two licensing exams. The 3000 hours can be earned by working with adults or children (500 hours must be earned working with children) as individual and/or group clients. Typically this takes several years and is often done without pay. Once a candidate completes his/her hours, an application is sent to California’s Board of Behavioral Sciences. If it is approved (hours are complete, background check is cleared, papers are in order and fees are paid), then the person can begin the testing process. A candidate might study for several months to a year prior to sitting for the tests. There are two exams a candidate must pass in order to receive a license. Once licensed, an MFT must take continuing education classes to keep his/her license up to date.

Many people feel the title 'Marriage and Family Therapist' is a misnomer. It is within the scope of a licensed therapist’s practice to see anyone with an issue that is negatively impacting their relationships. A client can be an individual, a couple, or group; married or not married; adult or child, it runs the gambit. The California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists (CAMFT) writes, 'Marriage and Family Therapists work with individuals, couples, families, groups and children with a wide range of issues including relationship concerns, anxiety or depression, family difficulties, addictions, mental disorders, and a host of other concerns'. Additionally the term 'marriage' also implies couples that we see are married and are heterosexual; when in fact, same-sex and non-married couples can utilize the services of a MFT.

Only your medical doctor or psychiatrist can prescribe medications to you, Marriage & Family Therapists cannot. If we decide that exploring the use of medication is the right choice for you, I will support your decision to seek an evaluation from a doctor or psychiatrist. While the risks and benefits of medication is a discussion you would have with your doctor, we can also discuss the feelings you have about taking medication. In the end, you have the right to make the final decision about medication yourself.